I'm Done: Part 2

I'm Done: Part 2

©2011 Mika Star

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Kyle froze the moment he realized she was standing there. Once again words failed him. Even as she stood there with an unrecognizable expression she was so beautiful with stray spiraling strands of hair framing her dark eyes and soft skin. 

Normally, if it were any other woman that had walked out on him the night before he would have simply ignored her now until she either got the point, and left again of her own accord, or she would speak her mind, starting a fight, and he would leave her shouting at him from the front stoup.But he couldn't bring himself to do that to Alexis.

As many times as she had walked away from him in the past, there had only been one other time she left with that sort of pained look in her eyes. And it scared the shit of him to see it there once again.

However, the last time had been different. The last time had almost killed him even if it was his own fault. She had seemingly moved on with her life ignoring his every attempt to show her how much he cared for her as if he no longer existed in the world. What hurt him the most was that it was his fault. She had every right to do what she did, and in truth, he was lucky she come back at all.

He would drive by her house noticing the flowers he'd left for her dried and rotten having been thrown or kicked off the steps as she entered her front door.

Every phone call had gone unanswered until one day he had gotten the heart sickening message "The mobile number you have reached is no longer in service..." What was worse, she never bothered getting a home line put in.

He had started writing e-mails to her everyday, which turned into once a week, dropping to once a month or every couple of mouths. He never received a "mail delivery error"  message, at least that would have been something. But no, nothing.

Three years--it had been three agonizing years since she walked out of his life.  Then, just when he became accustom to his unanswered prayers, and the pain that use to wake him at night, eased to a manageable ache of the heart surfacing only when  the deepest of memories were called to his attention; there she was again purely by accident. The depth of her eyes making him weak in the knees. He thought it had been fate giving him one more chance to claim her heart before he lost it forever. But after last night perhaps he had been wrong.

It had taken him a year to get back to this point with her--the way she had looked at him all those hours ago-- he knew what he had seen because he had been patiently waiting for that look--the passion to return to her eyes. After all, true passion cannot exist where lust solely resides. He had run though their encounter a thousands of times between then and now. Yes, he nodded and a smiled to himself, it can't be completely hopeless, not yet.

She had come back to him and damn if he wasn't determined to make the best of the situation, and hope she would let him heal the hurt he caused her a life time ago even if it took the rest of his life to do it.

Creeping over, sitting beside Kyle, Alexis hoped she wasn't crossing an unspoken line. The only sound that could be heard was that of her left tennis shoe squeaking against the polished wooden floor as she turned to sit on the bed.

She stared down at the floor for a long minute twiddling her thumbs not wanting to her mouth to out weigh her thoughts. She wanted to tell him she was sorry for leaving the previous night, but truth be told, she wasn't sorry. She still hurt.

After four years of living with his betrayal she still had no desire to trust him again, and doubted she ever would. She wanted to be with him-to love him and she did to a certain point, but there was now a line she refused to let him cross.

Kyle slid toward her, holding her in the crook of arm, his hand held firm to her arm as if he was afraid to hug her, but didn't wish to let her go again.

She shrugged him off, but then leaned into his chest. He propped his chin on the top of her head as she maneuvered- claspping his arms limp around her torso, letting him know it was okay to hold her-she wanted him to hold her. After which, it was up to him whether or not he would partake.

Brushing a handful of hair from over her ear he whispered, his voice steady and soft, but almost pleading "What do you want me to do Allie-baby?" He placed a lingering kiss on her earlobe as she leaned into his voice. "Tell me."

She turned facing him, kneeling between his legs on the bed. She cupped his face in her hands searching his brown eyes, "Be patient, that's all I can say right now." Tears welled in her eyes, escaping her attempt to contain them, a single steam dampened her cheek before she swapped it away with her thumb.

Awe, baby don't cry. While he didn't quite understand her tears, he was content to hug her to him hoping she might be willing to make him understand if he held on long enough. If not, at least she was allowing him to hold her again.

Her chest tighten in an effort to keep her emotions in check. "Kyle," she spoke slow with sorrow flooding her voice, "I can't do this." 

Kyle's heart skipped more than a couple beats, but when Alexis didn't pull away he took a deep breath in and exhaled letting her continue.

"I can't love you the way you want me to.  I want to, but after what you did, my better judgement won't allow me to. For me your love coincides with pain, and until something else replaces that pain, I can't allow myself to give that part of me to you again." 

Kyle let out a sigh of relief. Even though she had never told him of that inner most thought that must plague her on a daily basis, it wasn't anything he hadn't figured out for himself.

"I know, and I'll spend the rest of my life healing you, if that what it takes. The one thing I 'can't ' do is lose you again."

For some women those words might have been enough to break an iron clad wall of defenses, but for Alexis it wasn't enough. Kyle meant well, she believed, but his words rang in her ears as empty as the wind through a hollowed log.  He had shattered her heart into countless pieces; she needed more time to gather them up again. Right then and there, Kyle made a silent vow to be the one to put each shard back in it's rightful place--to make her whole once more

However, in the slightest chance that he couldn't--in the dark depths of his mind he also temporarily entertained the gut wrenching thought: when all is said and done if he alone couldn't calm the storm in her heart, he would let her go, but not without personally seeing to it that she would find true happiness.

Tired from the emotional battle Alexis fought with herself she slipped out of Kyle's embrace. Pulling off her tennis shoes Alexis laid down on the edge of the bed from where she sat with her back still to him and finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep. Kyle fell in behind Alex wrapping himself around her, soon sleep over came him as he listened to her soft breathing and feeling the steady thump of her heartbeat.

...to be continued...

I'm Done: Part 1

 I'm Done: Part 1

©2011 Mika Star

The front door had been left unlocked.  Alexis knocked, but Kyle didn't answer.  She slipped into the living room sinking into the soft recliner she knew Kyle often fell asleep in after long nights of dealing with deadlines, brainstorming and occasional writer's block.

After calling out to him a few times, and still getting no answer, she quietly walked across the room and down the hall.  Only a bluish glow from his computer shown on the wall right outside his bedroom in the otherwise darkened house.

She found him sitting up his legs criss-crossed in front of him on the bed. The blue fitted sheet lay wrinkled all around him.  One corner of the sheet had been pulled up from the head of the bed just under the pillow he normally slept on.  The flat sheet was sprawled down the side of the bed nearest the entrance to the room while only a section of the comforter could be seen on the floor on the other side of the bed.  His chin rested in the palms of his hands with his elbows on his knees.

She stood in the doorway leaning her head and shoulder against the frame for a good five minutes before he looked up from his laptop.  He hadn't even noticed she was there, but it didn't occur to her to care. She liked watching him work.

Kyle was an author for an independent publishing company outside of Baltimore.  And from the looks of the bed he hadn't bothered fixing anything after she left last night.

Within the last year, Kyle and Alexis had been in and out of each other's beds; neither of them have dated much nor have they had the desire to define their relationship.  As such, they enjoyed their time together; their relationship held no demands on one another and goodbyes were never lingered on.

However, last night had somehow been different.  Changing things even if only slightly--stirring something to life within each of them neither wish to admit.

   
                                                                     22 hours earlier...


Alexis had knocked on Kyle's door shortly after the shift she taken up as a florist in a small shop just down the street.

Kyle had answered the door with his usual "Hello Allie-baby.  You're a beautiful sight for sore eyes.  How are you?" before slinging the door fully open giving her the invitation she always patiently waited for.

"Come in. Tonight's pizza night. There's still plenty left on the counter by the stove," he pointed.

"I'm okay for right now."

"Are you sure?  Did you eat anything at all today?"

"Yes, Kyle.  Stop fussing over me.  You're the one I worry about all the time, hardly stepping foot out of these four walls for days at a time."

"It's part of my work, you know that. Besides I still workout in the den most days; I'm not completely inactive."

Yes, I see that.  "Yes, I know, but that doesn't make my concern for you any less."

Alexis knew by now it was useless to argue with Kyle.  He has probably already tuned me out anyway.

"I've got a few more lines to write before I finish up for the evening.  I'll be in my room; help yourself to whatever you like.”  He then turned walking slowly out of the kitchen.

"Please follow me," he silently prayed.

Alexis watched Kyle's bare shoulders roll and the unusual twist of his back to accommodate for the limp of his left leg.

One of her eyebrows raised at the thought: I'd like to help myself to you.  She was glad his back was turned because the thought probably showed all over her face.

Alexis got herself a drink of water and piddled around biding time until she knew he would be nestled in bed again with his electronic companion.

She took off her shoes, setting them down by the door.  Tiptoeing down the hall, she peeked in the doorway, straightening when she realized he was staring at her.

He had covered himself from the waist down with just the flat sheet.  Kyle's computer was nowhere to be seen on the bed.  He had taken the time to place his laptop on the desk across the room.

Her eyes examined his abs and worked their way up to his board chest, and his thick neck. She shrugged, smiling at him.  Ambling over, she knelt on the bed.  He lifted the cover motioning for her to join him. She inched onto him curling her upper body into his chest.  She hoped he couldn't hear the steady increasing thump of her heartbeat.

Kyle's animal instinct was to rip off all her clothes and take her right then and there as she had allowed him so many nights previous.  Yet his desire to hold her, just to touch her, to be genuinely passionate won over for the moment.

He traced kisses up her neck, and along her jaw line to her lips.  His skin warmed as his cock responded to her hand running up and his pants leg. She turned brushing kisses along his chest.  He lifted her shirt up over her head easing her back onto the soft mattress.

Laying his head against her bare beasts, he said, "I noticed you weren't wearing a bra when I answered the door."

"I had hoped you would," she hissed as he licked at her left nipple.  He cupped the full round breast with his hand.  

God, they're perfect.

Alexis pulled him up rubbing her bottom lip on his before sinking into a deep kiss spreading her legs from underneath him in aching anticipation.  Kyle smiled into her eyes before breaking contact to take his time slipping off her skirt and panties. 

The instant her panties touched the floor he reached rubbing the top of her pussy, snaking one finger into her wetness.  She sucked in a breath letting out a whispering moan.  The blood pulsed in her ears as her thoughts raced to what that beautiful hardened steel would feel like inside of her once again.

Kyle kissed her lips.  Alexis caught the button of Kyle pants and with a flick of her wrist had it undone pulling down on the zipper.  Kyle gasped at the relief of his cock from the denim prison. Each second waiting for the release had been like holding his breath underwater.  Alexis rushed to push his pants down around his thighs.

Kyle forced himself off of the bed long enough allow his pants to ruffle to floor.  As he stepped out of them never taking his eyes off of Alexis, she sat up take his shaft in one hand stroking it gently circling her tongue around the hole until she tasted his salty-sweet pre-cum.

Alexis smiled up at him just before he shoved her back down onto the bed, the heat building between them. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he eased his hot manhood into her. Holding herself to him she thrust upward not only forcing him deep inside her, but forcing them both to sit upward on the cotton sheets. There she sat in his lap. The motion of her hips caused his heartbeat to slow. He settled into a comfortable thrusting rhythm with her.

However, the desire to come and make her come with him soon overwhelmed him.  He grabbed a fist full of her silky brown hair kissing and sucking on her neck his dick pulsing inside of her. Wrapping Alexis' arms around his neck he lowered her head onto a pillow that had been tossed out of the way previously. He took the opportunity to suckle each of her breasts, listening to her moan with each touch, before pinning her arms to the bed lacing his fingers with hers.

He pounded into her with such ferocity that Alexis screamed in both pain and pleasure.  Kyle could feel the tension of her body grow as her grip on his hands became a firm hold. His balls tightened and he knew she would come with him while he lost himself in her deep blue eyes. With one final thrust of his hips her orgasm exploded onto him as his warm juices filled her rocking her to her core. He clasped on top of Alexis their hands still partially interlocked. Kyle rubbed one of her knuckles with his forefinger afraid to do little else and ruin the moment.

After several long minutes he lifted his head to regard her sparkling eyes once again. Kyle released her hand to gently brush stray strands of hair out of her face tucking them behind her ear, unable to keep from smiling at her.

Questions flashed in his mind. What the hell just happened? Has her heart come back to me after all this time?  Shit, what do I say?  What do I do?  I don't want to fuck this up again. I might not get another shot.

Meanwhile Alexis thought, shit where did all that come from?  Was there love in his eyes just then?  No, it can't be.  He won't do this to me; I won't let him hurt me again. God, I'm such an idiot!

Alexis stiffed under him.  He suddenly felt like ten tons of dead weight on top of her.  She shoved him aside finding her way to the edge of the bed.

Kyle thought to himself, do something, say something to her, Dammit! Instead, he just sat up against the headboard, feeling helpless to fix what had gone so wrong.

Alexis looked down at their clothes strewed on the floor. She buried her face in her hands shaking her head.  Before Kyle had a chance to touch her again she stood up gathering her clothes declaring "I have to go.  I shouldn't have come here tonight."

Kyle had to fight back tears threatening to well in his eyes.  He watched her face pinch with anger both at herself and at the old wounds he had created long ago, long before she had wised up to what he was.

 Still dressing as she grabbed her shoes with one hand, quietly closed the kitchen door behind her leaving Kyle in his bedroom staring after her.

To be continued...