Monday, December 17, 2012

Fire at the Country House

Dream this morning: Alone, just after sunset, in a house in the country, I sat in the dark talking on the phone with someone. I stared at a wall papered with sticky notes and push pins.  Instinctively, my head snapped toward the screen door. I'd left it open to let the cooler night air in. For some reason, I recognized the sound I heard- like a pack of dogs running across the backyard.

Seeing  'them' my heartbeat tripled, I dropped the phone and my lungs worked overtime as I ran frantically around the house looking for my two dogs. I'd suddenly felt a need to keep them out of harms way. One, a rottie, I found growling at something that broke through the front door. The second dog, a lab, came up beside where I stood and began growling in the same direction. I kept screaming both of their names and for each of them to run.

The creature strolled in the room, seemingly unphased by the dogs. He seemed to grow tired of the rottie as she snarled and lunged at him. He, the creature, could've been mistaken for a handsome, thick, broad shouldered man except that its eyes resembled that of a lion. He threw one of  his muscular arms in front of his face and tossed the rottie against the nearest wall, knocking her out cold. He walked up to the lab and punched him in the jaw, launching him across the room, shattering furniture. I screamed for him as I watched him fall to the floor.

In my grief, I fell to the floor myself. The lab didn't appear to move or even breathe afterward.

 Tears blurred my vision as I turned to face the creature again. He brushed his knuckles against the cotton of his white, A-frame shirt. I  hadn't realized I'd backed myself into a corner. He pulled a zippo lighter out of the pocket of his khaki pants. A sinister grin spread across his face.  Paralyzed  by fear, I helplessly watched him throw the lighter onto the hard wood floor. The wood seemed to ignite instantly, forming a barrier of fire in front of me. His eyes shown yellow-gold now illuminated by the light the flames cast. He began to laugh. The laugh started low in his throat and rose with the flames and seemed to echo through the walls of the house. Screaming at the top of my lungs, I woke up right before the flames touched my toes.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Twilight : Eclipse/Breaking Dawn Quotes

Twilight : Eclipse

Bella's thoughts: "The word boyfriend had me chewing on the inside of my cheek with a familiar tension while I stirred. It wasn't the right word, not at all. I needed something more expressive of eternal commitment."
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Edward: "The outside world holds no interest for me without you."
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Edward: "With your luck, not even the black box would survive."
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Edward's note to Bella: "I'll be back so soon you won't even have time to miss me. Look after my heart - I've left it with you."
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Bella's thoughts: "The fire threw a volley of sparks into the sky, and they shivered and danced, making shapes that were almost decipherable."
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Bella's thoughts: "It was strange. Even though he was in his bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be - the easy effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out - than the last few times I'd been with Jacob while he was human."
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Edward: "...having experienced the way it feels to think I've lost you...my reactions have changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of pain again."
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Edward: "You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."
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Jacob: "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us - comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken..." .... "If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters or magic..."
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Jacob: "He's like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been heathier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."

Bella: "I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun. My personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me."

Jacob: "The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight an eclipse."
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Bella's thoughts: " I scrambled around in my head, searching desperately for a reserve of strength. There was just enough for me to quiet the sobs- hold them back but not end them. The tears didn't slow. I couldn't seem to find any handle to even begin to work with those."
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Bella's thoughts: "My hindsight seemed to unbearably clear tonight. I could see every mistake I'd made, every bit of harm I'd done, the small things and the big things. Each pain I'd caused Jacob, each wound I'd given Eward, stacked up into neat piles that I could not ignore or deny."
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*Bella's thoughts: "It took longer than I thought it would for that smaller, broken part of me to cry herself out. It happened, though, and I was eventually exhausted enough to fall asleep. Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the pain, just a numbing, dulling ease, like medicine. Made it more bearable. But it was still there, I was aware of it, even asleep, and that helped me make the adjustments I needed to make.

*The morning brought with it,if not a brighter outlook, at least a measure of control, some acceptance. Instinctively, I knew that the new tear in my heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of me now. Time would make it easier - that's what everyone always said. But I didn't care if time healed me or not, so long as Jacob could get better. Could be happy again.
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Jacob: "I don't know..." ..."If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?"
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Bella: "No, Edward. I've made a real mess of things, and I'm going to have to live with that. But I know what I want and what I need... and what I'm going to do now."
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Edward: "Tell me why not, Bella." ..."This had better not be about me."

Bella's thoughts: "Everything in my world was about him. What a silly thing to expect."



Twilight: Breaking Dawn


Jacob: "You'd think I'd get used to telling you goodbye by now."
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Bella's thoughts: "How did people do this --swallow all their fears and trust someone else so implicitly with every imperfection and fear they had--with less than the absolute commitment Edward had given me? If it weren't for Edward out there, if I didn't know in every cell of my body that he loved me as much as I loved him--unconditionally and irrevocably and to be honest, irrationally--I'd never be able to get up off this floor."
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Bella: "If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund."
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 Jacob's thoughts: " It once had probably been a big mixing bowl, but she'd bent the bowl back in on itself until it was shaped almost exactly like a dog dish. I had to be impressed with her quick craftmanship. And her attention to detail. She'd scratched the word Fido into the side."

"I was considering licking the bowl, just to give Rosalie something to complain about..."
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 Jacob's thoughts: "So the psycho was 'Rose' now. He'd completely crossed over to the dark side."


Saturday, August 25, 2012

Twilight: New Moon (Book quotes)

Twilight: New Moon

Edward- "Don't do this," he pleaded.
Bella- You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well watch me.
Edward- "Please. For me."
Bella- But you won't stay with me any other way.
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Bella -Where?  There was nothing but the darkness. There was no place to swim to.
Edward- " Stop that!" he ordered. "Don't you dare give up!...

Bella's thoughts - I was almost happy that it was over. This was an easier death than others I'd faced. Oddly peaceful.

I thought briefly of the clich├ęs, about how you were suppose to see your life flash before your eyes. I was so much luckier. Who wanted to see a rerun, anyway? ....

Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.
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Bella's thoughts - If Romeo was really gone never to come back, would it have mattered whether or not Juliet had taken Paris up on his offer? Maybe she should have tried to settle into the leftover scraps of her life that were left behind. Maybe that would have been as close to happiness as she could get.

Harry's heart attack had pushed everything suddenly into perspective for me. Perspective that I didn't want to see, because if I admitted to the truth of it- it would mean that I would have to change my ways. Could I live like that?
 -----
 Bella's thoughts - I'd have to tell him everything, I knew that. It was the only way to be fair. I'd have to explain it right, so that he'd know I wasn't settling, that he was much too good for me. He already knew I was broken, that part wouldn't surprise him, but he needed to know the extent of it.  ....

I knew he would take me in spite of it all. He wouldn't even pause to think it through. ....

I would have to commit to this-- commit as much of me as there was left, every one of the broken pieces. It was the only way to be fair to him. Would I? Could I?

Would it be so wrong to make Jacob happy? Even if the love I felt for him was no more than a weak echo of what I was capable of, even if my heart was far away, wandering and grieving after my fickle Romeo, would it be so very wrong?
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Charlie talking to Alice:

"She went back to school and work, she ate and slept and did her homework. She answered when someone asked her a direct question. But she was...empty. Her eyes were blank.

There were lots of little things - she wouldn't listen to music anymore; I found a bunch of CDs broken in the trash. She didn't read; she wouldn't be in the same room when the TV was on, not that she watched it so much before. I finially figured it out - she was avoiding everything that might remind her of...him."    ....

 "I don't know... even with Jacob, now and then I see something in her eyes, and I wonder if I've ever grasped how much pain she's really in. [It's] not normal at all. Not like someone had left her, but like someone had died."

Bella's thoughts - It was like someone had died - like I had died. Because it had been more than just losing the truest of true loves, as if that were not enough to kill anyone. It was also losing a whole future, a whole family - the whole life I had chosen...

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Bella's thoughts in response to Edward's gentle kisses - Each time it was like an electric to my long dormant heart. The sound of its beating seemed to fill the entire room.

It was heaven - right smack in the middle of hell.

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Edward - "You weren't going to let go," he whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it - it felt like it would kill me to do it- but I knew if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you." ....

Edward- "I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept- as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you!"  ...

Bella - "It never made sense for you to love me."...

Edward- "Yesterday, when I touched you, you were so ... hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much?

Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be... quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please- just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" he whispered. ....

Bella - "Don't promise me anything," I whispered. If I let myself hope, and it came to nothing...that would kill me.

Edward - "You think I'm lying to you now?"

Bella- "No- not lying." I shook my head, trying to think it through coherently. To explain the hypothesis that he did love me, while staying objective, clinical, so I would fall into the trap of hoping. "You could mean it ...now. But what about tomorrow, when you think about all the reasons you left in the first place?"....

Bella's thoughts - I thought back over those last days before he left me, tired to see them through the filter of what he was telling me now. From that perspective, imagining that he'd left me while loving me, left me for me, his brooding and cold silences took on a different meaning.  ...

Edward - "Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly, everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." ....

Edward - " It was like my heart was gone- like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you." ...

Bella - "I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long."

Edward - 'Your hold is permanent and unbreakable," he whispered. "Never doubt that." ....

Edward - He nodded. "I'm worse than the Volturi," he said grimly. "I guess I've earned that."

Bella - I rolled my eyes. "The worst the Volturi can do is kill me." ... "You can leave me," I explained. "The Volturi, Victoria...they're nothing compared to that." ...

Edward - If there was only a way to make you see that I can't leave you," he whispered. "Time, I suppose, will be the only to convince you." 

Bella - I liked the idea of time. "Okay," agreed. .....

Bella's thoughts - The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance,or time. And no matter how much more special, or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was.

Monday, July 23, 2012

This Cat's Outta Here





©2012 Mika Star  
 

I'm going now. No, please don't try to follow me. 
This is one path I walk alone. 
Your place is here,
to carry on where I left off. 
There's still too much fun to be had-
Too much mischief to create.

 We will meet, again,
when your time here is through.
For now, I leave you with the written words in your hand,
my fingerprints on your heart and these footprints in the sand.




Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Runaway by Nephylim (Book Trailer)



video


You can also check this book trailer out  HERE on You Tube.

I have read quite a few of Nephy's books, and let me tell you, I can't wait for this one to be released.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Music

Music

The following is a piece from "The Shawshank Redemption" referring to music in general.

Andy says "It is in here, (points to his head) and in here (points to his heart). That is the beauty of music.They (guards ect) can't get that from you. Haven't your ever felt that way about music?"...

"In here (prison) is where is makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget." ...

"Forget that there are places that aren't made out of stone. There is something inside that they can't get to; they can't touch. It's yours."...

"Hope."

Later Andy wrote: "Remember, hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things, and good things never die."

Music is part is a deep part of my soul. The writers and musicians throughout time have the ability to express themselves in ways I, sometimes, cannot, or simply dare not. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. There are many, if not the world of people who have a song, at least once in their lives, that defines their feelings or thoughts at any given moment. Even if it is unspoken and unknown to the rest of the world.

Music can awaken the soul to memories, things we had long forgotten, or perhaps wished we could forget. Music can start a fire in the soul that no one can take away, no matter how hard they try. Yes, that is the beauty of music!  =)

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Crickets Sing

Crickets Sing
©2012 Mika Star



When was it last that I heard the crickets sing?
Years ago, now, it seems, I sat on the porch in my teenage youth.
Or sleepless hours 
and summer windows letting in a breeze.
The last time I was quiet enough to hear their symphony.
Alone in the still night air 
with a clear head and quieted thoughts.
They sang to me as only crickets can.
Oh, how I've missed them.





(The words came before the picture, so in that respect it does not follow my usually need to equal one hundred or two hundred words)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Quotes from "The Vow"

Leo:
"My theory is about moments-moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all the people we’ve ever known. And it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again."

Just WOW!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Golden Sunset

 "Golden Sunset"  ©2012 Mika Star
~The golden light of sunset stretches across the sky, touching each bit of the earth that surrounds me. As long as it has been since our parting- that glow still reminds me of you. Even on rainy days- when there will be no sunset to speak of-the absence of that glow is, yet, another reminder. 
~Little did you realize when you gave me your heart, you gave me the sunset. At least I still have the sunset.