This morning's dream that I woke up from at about 5 am:
I was seventeen years old again, and ready to find my own way in the world. I told my mother I was going over to Kristi's house to stay the weekend. Which was true, I did go over to Kristi's house, and my initial intention was to stay the weekend.
Well, there were lots of people at her house when I got there. I do not know why. Anyway, I got bored mostly because Kristi was no where to be found, and I didn't know anyone else around. I was getting up from sitting on her couch when I decided just to go over to the party that was going on next door.
I, at least, knew my friend Bobby would be over there. (Now, I knew who Bobby was in my dream; in life I cannot recall ever being friends with a black guy named Bobby; whereas I pretty much grew up with Kristi from elementary school on up into high school.) Anyway, it turned out that Bobby was the only one I knew at the party, but he was no company, as he was too involved with a few of the girls there. So being that I am not really a social butterfly, when it comes to crowds of people (not even in my dreams) I went back over to Kristi's house to grab the duffel bag I had brought with me. I made sure I had my cell phone in my back pocket.
I headed back out the door, and down the road on foot without anyone seemingly noticing that I was there or was leaving. I didn't care. I was on my own, and I was going wherever my feet would take me, adrift in the wind, so to speak. I was wearing blue jeans, one of my favorite shirts (red with a huge rainbow heart on it.) and my black, blue and white tennis shoes. My duffel bag was the green bag with the purple mesh pocket in the front that I used to use when I stayed with my great grandma before she passed away. Why that particular bag ended up in my dream...I am assuming it is because of the comforting memories that go along with the bag.
Days had passed, I was tired, and looking for a place to settle in for a few days. I walked up this long dirt driveway to a big beautiful old country house. No one was around on the porch, but something told me it would be okay if I walked up onto it without being invited. I walked from one side of porch to the other. The beauty of what I saw on the other side of that house... I can describe it, but I am not sure I will be able to do it justice. The bright spring sun lit up the acres of land before me. Gentle rolling hills being played upon by children young and old.
There was so much laughter and joy the air; I could not help, but to let it all soak into my skin like the roots of a flower starving for water. A smile stretched across my face as I settled in. Folding my legs Indian style as I sat down on the cool white wooden boards, I watched, quietly, each facial expression of everyone close enough for me to see. The sparkle in their eyes and not a care in the world expect for being there with each other.
All of of a sudden, I awoke as if from a dream within a dream, and found myself alone in a house. It was in the dark slightly after dawn on a rainy, windy day. It didn't take me long to realize I was somehow back at Bobby's house. I heard a few people calling my name from outside.
I walked slowly tip-toeing to the double hung window in Bobby's living room. Lowering myself to the floor peeking over the window ledge, but luckily I was still mostly hidden by the dark green curtains that hung down over the view. The people outside were none other than my mom, my step-dad and two younger twin sisters. I ducked down as my pulse quickened. I thought to myself. "No, I don't want to go home. There is the rest of the world out there for me. I am not ready for these feet to be grounded yet again." They were all yelling my name, and looking around for any traces that I might have been there. Somehow, I knew full well they could not get in the house; all the doors and windows were locked....
~I woke up~