If I Had Only Seen

"If I Had Only Seen"

©2011 Mika Star 

 I blame myself for not seeing the first kiss for its emptiness.  The sparks I expected, died right there on your lips.  Mistaking  lust for love, in my hopeful pride, I overlooked the first sign of the inevitable pain lurking in the shadows of our future.  I found myself kissing you again and again trying in vain to ignite something in my already tattered soul.  Perhaps, if I had listened to the truth of my heart and the reasoning of my head, I could have fled that night, putting miles between us instead of daily fighting dread of what will be heard or said.

Now, I have given you the keys to my fears and you hold each against me as I fight back tears. These demons that you helped manifest have worked there way into the heart of my chest. 

Oh, God please forgive me for all that I have done, but the hollowness seems to have won.